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notalwaysright_feed Jul. 1st, 2025 10:00 am)
notalwaysright_feed Jul. 1st, 2025 10:00 am)(notalwaysright_feed Jul. 1st, 2025 09:00 am)
notalwaysright_feed Jul. 1st, 2025 09:00 am)Read A Puzzling Misunderstanding
A man walks in, holding a box of a complex 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle he bought yesterday.
Customer: "This thing doesn’t come with instructions."
Me: "Puzzles usually don’t. You use the image on the box as your guide."
(notalwaysright_feed Jul. 1st, 2025 09:00 am)
notalwaysright_feed Jul. 1st, 2025 09:00 am)My brother is a street musician. When I come to his performances we don’t really interact and don’t tell the audience we’re related, although we’ve told a few people privately. Tips are not mandatory but most people are generous, especially regulars. After one performance, I start to leave. Regular: Hey! I saw you many times […]
(notalwaysright_feed Jul. 1st, 2025 08:30 am)
notalwaysright_feed Jul. 1st, 2025 08:30 am)I went to the optometrist today for followup to cataract surgery. He was running way behind so I had to wait a while. While I was waiting, this lady walked up to the counter pulled out the “Medicare and You” manual that all us old folks get every year and started asking them questions, showing […]
(notalwaysright_feed Jul. 1st, 2025 08:00 am)
notalwaysright_feed Jul. 1st, 2025 08:00 am)I am at my middle school’s award ceremony, sitting with one of my friends (Friend 1) and waiting for the principal to announce the Principal’s Award, which was the Jazz Bands cue to go backstage to play the postlude, which was Incredibles. Our principal announces the Heart of the [School Mascot] award. Principal: The Heart […]
(notalwaysright_feed Jul. 1st, 2025 07:00 am)
notalwaysright_feed Jul. 1st, 2025 07:00 am)Read A Sweet Love
Customer: "Hey, these cupcakes don’t look anything like the ones on the box."
Me: "Ah, yeah, the packaging photo is styled for marketing, but it is the same recipe, though."
Read A Sweet Love
(notalwaysright_feed Jul. 1st, 2025 05:00 am)
notalwaysright_feed Jul. 1st, 2025 05:00 am)Read We Can Safely Say This Customer Doesn’t Know Beans
Customer: "Well, those say vegetarian. I don't want that vegetarian crap that they are pushing."
Me: "Were you looking for pork and beans?"
Customer: "No, I just want pinto beans, but I DON'T want them to be VEGETARIAN!"
(notalwaysright_feed Jul. 1st, 2025 03:00 am)
notalwaysright_feed Jul. 1st, 2025 03:00 am)Read Keeping An Iron Grip On This Sale
Customer: "Oh my word, this thing weighs a ton!"
Me: "Yeah, cast iron’s heavy, but it holds heat really well."
Customer: "Back in my day, we didn’t need gym memberships! We just owned cookware."
(awkwardfamilyphotos_feed Jun. 27th, 2025 01:06 am)
awkwardfamilyphotos_feed Jun. 27th, 2025 01:06 am)
“Not 100% sure of the backstory here other than it may have been Halloween and I think I was into the grim reaper & Cat Fancy magazine.”
(submitted by Molly)
The post The Grim Reader appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.
(notalwaysright_feed Jul. 1st, 2025 01:00 am)
notalwaysright_feed Jul. 1st, 2025 01:00 am)Read Don’t Forget To Packa The Alpaca
I work in a travel accessories store in a high-end mall. A customer walks up holding a travel pillow shaped like an alpaca. It's clearly a novelty item, plush and cutesy, but still tagged with "ergonomic memory foam."
Customer: "I’m trying to figure out if this is serious or just… a joke?"
(notalwaysright_feed Jul. 1st, 2025 12:00 am)
notalwaysright_feed Jul. 1st, 2025 12:00 am)Read It’s A Simple (Catch)22-Step Process!
Some years ago, I moved from New Jersey to Mississippi. I needed to get a Mississippi driver’s license. In the move, however, my birth certificate had been lost. I went online to order a new one from New York, the state in which I was born. I provided my New Jersey license as proof of who I was.
Cue the maddening runaround.
(notalwaysright_feed Jun. 30th, 2025 11:00 pm)
notalwaysright_feed Jun. 30th, 2025 11:00 pm)
Customer: "Is this chicken... hot? Or is it cold? I can't tell."
Me: "It’s warm now, we keep them under heat lamps, but they’re not piping hot like fresh out of the oven."
Customer: "But it’s supposed to be ready to eat, right?"
(notalwaysright_feed Jun. 30th, 2025 10:00 pm)
notalwaysright_feed Jun. 30th, 2025 10:00 pm)Read Some Humor Can Climb Mountains
A couple of late teen girls in Hijabs come in and start looking around, so I approach them and get chatting.
Me: "Hey ladies! Are you shopping for something in particular today?"
Customers: "Oh, yes, we're going on a trip to hike up Snowden, so we probably need some waterproofs and boots."
(notalwaysright_feed Jun. 30th, 2025 09:30 pm)
notalwaysright_feed Jun. 30th, 2025 09:30 pm)
Me: "Peter, why did you give her an avocado?"
Peter: "Help."
Me: "Yes... But why an avocado?"
Peter: "She likes avocado. I have avocado."
(notalwaysright_feed Jun. 30th, 2025 09:00 pm)
notalwaysright_feed Jun. 30th, 2025 09:00 pm)Read If It Quacks Like A Duck…
Customer: "Is it still going to make that squeaky noise when the wheels roll?"
Clerk: "They’re the original wheels, so if they did before, then yes."
Customer: "Well, can’t you just oil them or something? It’s embarrassing. People look when I roll it."
(notalwaysright_feed Jun. 30th, 2025 08:00 pm)
notalwaysright_feed Jun. 30th, 2025 08:00 pm)Read Gonna Have To Be Hard-Headed Over The Hard Hats
My father ran a construction company and was hired to update a utility line that ran through a local zoo. As they were preparing to start the project, the zoo director came up to my dad.
Director: "Okay, we are glad you are all here and we appreciate that you have taken all the precautions we asked for the well-being of our animals. And we know it's a very long list of requests."
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We're having to rebuild the search server again (previously, previously). It will take a few days to reindex all the content.
Meanwhile search services should be running, but probably returning no results or incomplete results for most queries.
Meanwhile search services should be running, but probably returning no results or incomplete results for most queries.
(notalwaysright_feed Jun. 30th, 2025 07:00 pm)
notalwaysright_feed Jun. 30th, 2025 07:00 pm)Read His Wife Is The Pineapple Of His Eye
A customer is holding up a pineapple.
Customer: "Excuse me, my wife normally does the shopping. Can you tell me how to tell if this pineapple is ripe?"
Me: "Sure. If the bottom smells sweet and the leaves pull out easily, it’s good to go."
(notalwaysright_feed Jun. 30th, 2025 06:05 pm)
notalwaysright_feed Jun. 30th, 2025 06:05 pm)So my brother (13), father and I were sitting round with the World Cup on. We start talking about Native Americans as my brother had recently done a history lesson on the Wild West. This quickly leads to buffalo for some reason and this conversation happens (I cannot remember the exact conversation, but this is […]
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